Nine days 'til Thirty...Memories...

I was on the phone with Nichole last night and I had the realization that her son, my godson, Finnegan is at the age where he will start remembering the things that are going on around him now when he's older. 

That got me thinking about memories in general.  I have two very early memories.  One is of my mom carrying me into a house while wearing a dark blue nylon-esque coat.  The other is of me running past a kitchen table that had a box of kraft mac n' cheese on it up to a screen door.  In the back yard, there was a grey-ish dog.  These memories aren't significant in anyway, but my mother informs me that I was 18 months old and we lived in Montana at the time.  I think that is amazing.

I have a very strange memory.  Ask me what I did last week and I'll have a really hard time remembering.  Phone numbers?  Why would I remember those?  My phone does it for me.  Birthdays?  Forget about it...ha.  That's what Facebook and my mom and sister are for.  One time in college, I called my mom to ask her for some money and she said: "Oh.  I thought you were calling to wish me a happy birthday." to which I replied "Well, that too...you didn't let me finish."  Facepalm.

However, memories from elementary school, obscure movie quotes, funny things that you said once off hand in a conversation a decade ago?  I got you covered.

Memories are both a blessing and a curse.  And the funny thing is...you have no control over what you remember or when, where, or how it will flash back into your mind.

Going through this blogging process, I have sifted through old photos, old videos, old blogs, journals...all kinds of things to get material to write about.  And for the most part, it's been great.  Looking at an old photo can sometimes snap you right back to the moment in time when it occurred.  That is, after all, their purpose.  There are some memories I have that only exist in my mind.  I can remember the exact emotions I was feeling, the temperature of the air, and the smells around me at the time. 

Then there are those memories that aren't so great.  Those are the ones that really sneak up on you and stab your heart.  I have gotten some memory flashes that have literally caused a physical reaction in my body.  A stomach drop or heart palpitations.  Sometimes those are good memories, but the people or places in the memory are no longer a part of your life and that can bring up all kinds of emotions.

Like I've said several times before in previous posts, I do spend a lot of time reflecting on and remembering the past and I'm happy to say that most of those memories fill me with the warm tinglies.  Happy memories of a good life that I have lead thus far.  There are only a few patches of gray dotted with the tiniest bits of pitch black....and I think that's a good place to be.  I am hopeful that as I start my thirties, I will be able to fill my thoughtcicles with the happiest of memories.  Cuz let's be honest...the end of my twenties was a roller coaster ride of all the feels.

I will leave you with Heather Headley singing a classic and BLOWING it out of the water:

BYEEEEE!